Busy Week

Tis week was kinda like a busy week for me.. Wednesday, i wasnt sure y i came home late.. i think and Thursday and Friday, i was volunteering at Giving Tree @ North East.. The last time i was tis exhausted and all was wen i was at the IOC..

Got into a fight like tis week and i fainted and apparently wen i regained consiousness, my head was spinning so bad.. and i had migraine.. While i was unconsiousness, i had tis funny dream abt kor and i.. I dunno y.. Well i he says he wants to be my kor.. But there are somethings i wan to ask him but he never answers me..

I dunno y. Initially wen he was my kor kor, he was very nice.. i have to say it was sweet and nice to have a kor kor.. But then after sometime, he was very cold towards me especially wen he came back from Rockhampton..

The sweet time and goodness we had disappeared.. Its kinda depressing.. Everytime wen i log into his blog, wen i hear tat song and read abt his day and all, i dunno y i jus feel very depressed.. I nvr had a driving force till he came in and i dunno y i made him or used him as my driving force...

Sometimes i do find tat im very naive.. Believing pple so easily.. :( i dunno y.. haiz.. Right now, im using tis current volunteer project (Giving Tree @ North East) to avoid my depression.. But aside frm depression, have tis physical exhaustion.. :'(

I dunno how long i can take wif tis torture i have.. I mean im jus waiting for tat day wen he says he doesnt wan me as his didi.. He says he wants me as his didi.. But he doesnt well treat me like one.. i mean the occasional calls and spot checks etc.. let alone meet up..

He says he is busy and all tat he cant be wif his friends.. For the past few days, wen i read his blog, he is always out wif his friends.. but wats of the brother of his?? Neglected.. and he says no.. Wen i wan to tel him off, he jus ignores me.. seriously i dunno wat he wants yet alone wat he wan to do..

:'( i don really think of my kor.. well i do think of my kor but then wen i think of how he treats me, i do have my doubts.. and he never wants to assure and give me tat security he used to.. i dunno y..

Well enough of my frustration and all lah.. WEll i have been having a gd time volunteering i mean yes i have been using it to avoid my problems but thru the process, its fun.. I am now like promoted to Deputy Manager.. Have pple under me.. haha..

Have to like report an hr earlier and go home an hr later cos have debrief.. of course i too have to conduct debrief and briefing.. so yea.. wen i wake up in the morning, im like a zombie.. but everyone says i seem like i have ample slp.. haha..

I love my volunteering work.. kinda gd.. But of course u get suckers who are jus there for CCA points or CIPS points. Im there for Leaderships points too.. but wen i don bother abt the points wen i do my job so yea..

Yday was kinda soso.. had like my Junior's frm SC 3 of them were Deputy MaNagers.. then 4 others came.. 2 of them were ok.. but of the 2, 1 was asking how to be a deputy manager.. could see she was doin stuff ot be noticed to get promoted to be Deputy Manager..

As for the other 2, one was fill wif shitty attitude whilest the other followed like a dog.. Godness. really some of them are not suitable to be councillors.. Their working attitude sucks.. but well i jus hope i can change.. haha

Right now im like looking at emceeing.. haha.. large scale.. Then i miss my security.. plus its easy.. hehe.. and u can see odd pple who wanted to board the EpBus thinking tat there would be a bus trip.. haha.. wen there isnt..

The weather today is so nice.. hehe.. well but its depressing to not have one soyea.. Can say its my kor ba.. sometimes.. i really say screw brotherhood.. tat day wen kor send me tis sms, i asked how come suddenly so nice, he said its jus to let me know he remembers me.. But deep inside.. i wanted to ask.. Remember me as wat? ur brother? ur friend?? or wat? there are many things i wan to ask but he doesnt wan to tell me.. and its always my fault..