A nutshell

Weather: Sunny
Mood: Numb, near moodless and emotionless, and Guilty
Time: 1115 hrs
Day: Wednesday
Countdwn to holiday: 2 days

Last week was filled up tons of ups and dwns.. Been quite bad.. However, glad tat Grace was arnd.. She too was under the weather.. Kinda interesting how people react to things in life sometimes. I mean its like i can be sad at one moment but wen i have friends who are dwn. they are my top priority.

I guess tats jus me.. Once, someone asked me would i sacrifice myself to help a friend, well i did.. Thinking back, though we arent friends much less in contact, i still had no regrets.. well maybe bcos i lost a friend but tats all..

Grace and i too have been in and out of stuff.. We would be in contact for a period of time and once we are busy, we get so busy that we fail to make it a point to contact one another.. And this would result to us ending up quarreling.

I mean our relationship is a big question mark.. Friends? BF/GF? God-siblings?? Hmm well lets jus say its a fusion of all 3... We are close friends, well we did consider having a part-time relationship (no sex involved) and well god-siblings kinda started since she officially joined SQ after leaving MI.

Really do miss her.. Guess thats y most of the time, i dont mind getting hurt by her much less being there for her when she is dwn even if im down and out. I kinda do miss the days wen i met her on flights and having my friends to tease us wen they see both of us on e flight.

Could still remember the time she did NRT-LAX and i was in MI544 looking at her plane crying... kinda comical.. hehe..

Anyway tats besides the point. Recently, Grace and i were back in contact well not tat we havent been in contact just that we havent met for abt a yr.. All communication was thru telecommunication.. tats all..

Both of us know tat we miss one another and im not denying the fact that we might get into another relationship that i might say would lead us getting hurt. But who cares.. options are open.

Hmm having my ITE graduation ceremony soon.. But no one is coming.. I mean i tot of calling grace long but well she will be doin FRA-JFK.. So sad.. Mummy would also be busy.. She wants to come but she is kinda busy so told her it was ok.. can go alone like i always have been for e last few years.

Holidays are also starting soon and this week, have been waking up at 0530-0545 instead of my usual 0500... And catching my magic school bus tat sends me to sch within 30mins. I would be late wen i leave my house but 168 gets me to Woodlands within 30mins thus the name Magic School Bus.

Kinda like it.. i mean yea 30mins would mean i might have to stand at times and also having a quick nap while e bus cruises thru TPE... hehe.. I have to admit, as much as im enjoying my nap and tat its fast, but i kinda get cranky wen i wake up to alight the bus.. hehe lets jus say that its a habit since a kid..;)

Im kinda side tracking.. anyway yea.. recently well its been abt a month i guess, lots of unhappiness in my life but im kinda amazed at how i can sometimes pretend nothing is happening amidst all tis.. Of course at e end of the day ill be sad and so on but well i guess im too used to this so much so tat im getting used to it and accepting e fact tat its becoming part of me.

Been trying to run from all my problems and not thinking too much into it and get super tied dwn with IGs and so on. Though i cant run away from it for long, but well i don wan to talk abt it at e moment lah..

Orh yes.. kor's friend jus got me a pair of sandals for hmm working hard and getting into a poly and well since im in race kayaking, it would come in useful on training days since one of my other sandals is well giving way and its not in e trash can..















Hmm having training later after school.. Hope i don cap today.. haha lets jus say i freak out wen i cap wen e sun is setting cos its kinda scary.. I wouldnt say tat im happy but lets jus say im happy with wat im doin.

Yday wen out wif Mummy and well bought some stuff.. and yea i got a new wallet and my shampoo etc.. Now kinda more or less have wat i need or have e money to get wat i need.. jus need to go get them... hehe..

Break is coming soon and cant wait.. lots of stuff.. Would be goin for trainning.. kinda mind dead at the moment..

Blog another day.

Weather: Normal
Mood: Numb, near moodless and emotionless
Time: 1128hrs
Day: Thursday
Countdwn to holiday: 1 days

Its thursday and well Friday is coming.. So near yet so long.. But well the long wait kinda payin off.. hehe. Ending my lesson with Cognitive so its quite a fun sunject.. hehe.. Good way to end my week.. Cant wait for the long wait too.. hehe.. As depressed as i am, im quite cheeky for some reason.

Recently my magic school bus kinda annoying.. some days u have seats, some days u have to stand. today i had to stand and man i was so tired.. So shitty.. I was slping while standing and well kinda moved and well some pple got annoyed but some were amazed tat i was sleeping while standing.. hehe

Reached woodlands and man i was tired.. I was well prepared to wan to go back.. i didnt care for once wat my grade was.. Initially i was contemplating on whether to go to sch today cos i was tired and my left sheen and calf muscle was pain..

However i had Science UT today.. Well it was evident i would fail cos today was Physics and bio.. which i hated to much cos its onli abt blood and density of blood and of course pressure.. RP's all time fav.. yucks man

I of course would fail but hey don try wont know cos i might score if i have to reason the theories.. so yea.. wen and well had to do on paper and well ill fail.. hehe.. know e result b4 its out.. so yea..

Lesson was oklah.. today VB (Visual Basics) and well have to make e box move.. For the pass month, we have been learning abt VB.. quite ok ok lah but need to remember codes which im not gd at

Well anyway i was like e leader today.. quite erm well didnt like it lah.. cos i didnt really like my grp but kinda ok wif them cos the communication is there.. After my breakout, i emailed my teacher asking if i can go home.. saying i had rhumatism which i think i had.. cos e leg was pain.

Left and took a bus home.. Reached home, i ate and napped till abt 8 and well mingled online chatting and stuff.. Chris gave me some SQ audios which he extracted from the vid and its not a ringtone for me.. hehe..

Gotta go prep for tomorow.. end..

Third party

Recently, i have been having well more like struggling with some personal problems.. School have been fine but i guess my nick lead lots of those arnd me think tat im unhappy being in RP and so on. Actually fact is tat school has been nothing but fun but of course as fun as it gets, there is also study stress and so on.

I was actually depressed for sometime now.. And well lets jus say i wanted to get into a relationship but well i didnt know tat i was e third party of e whole incident.. I don wan to mention names. So let me jus call them A and B.

A and i have known each other for sometime and since the time i known A till today, well our friendship kinda grew to an extend. However things kinda came to a turn few days back... I met B to watch a movie and well A happen to see B and i together.

A later smsed me sayin that both of them used to be together. Immediately, i was put in a spot and knew that it would affect my friendship with A tremendously. True enough it did.. Lots of stuff happened and everyone is hurt. As hurt as i already am, B still wants to be wif me in which i don see e link and feel that its no use.

I dunno wat to do now and am quite lost. A well have been trying to avoid me and i dunno how to approach A and A is also avoiding me. I feel so dwn and all i mean for a first relationship, this is realy terrible.

Tats e reason to y i have been quite sad and all recently.. Well this blog kinda acts as some of my usual stuff but well im jus sad so looking for something to vent my anger or something.. haiz :'(

School today was so so lah i gues.. Wen for my S2006 uniform fitting session and well ill be getting a free blazer, pants and shirt.. the Blazer and pants are grey taylor made.. the shirt is frm some company.. and im praying hard i don get pink though i was given pink today..

rite now im jus lost and sad..
Hmm along wif my blog entry today, are some pictures i took in sch today.. enjoy.


Owner of Hp with 2.0 megapix: Xian Hao
Photographer: Sherwin
Location: RP's Pond near canteen
Description of picture: 2 Dragon flies either having sex, or postion 69, either guy and girl or the dragon flies are gays.. haha

Wanted to try another angle but Xian hao was worried i might drop his hp into e water.. hehe..Nice shot ay?

This shot was taken in e cinema: Over the hedge
Day: Tuesday; 23 May 06

Tuesday to Sunday on Sunday

Tuesday was my MC day.. didnt do much but jus emailed my Enterprise Faci.. well more like had a quick chat via email thru RP Mail.. was quite ok lah spent e day resting.

Wednesday was quite interesting.. had Race Kayaking practice at our usual spot. I was assigned a "T1" not Singapore Changi Airport Terminal 1 tat is.. hehe.. "T1" is a single seater kayak..

When i saw my kayak, i kinda got a little scared.. haha.. Well wen i entered my kayak, i was kinda shakky and nervous.. haha.. My advisor saw me and ask if it was my first and i said replied yes. Later, i paddled and slowly got e momentum..

Subsequently, i wen faster and further... Like some pple say " Not yet learn to walk wan to learn to fly".. Tat was me.. i wen further and further.. near the 1km mark.. haha.. halfway, i slowed dwn. Upon coming to a halt, my kayak wen shaky again.

There and then, i pray tat i would capsized cos i know i was goin to capsize. Lo and behold, at tat split second, i flipped.. and yes i entered e water.. haha.. was dam wet.. my senior came to me and helped me flip my kayak over.. and i got it..

Mind u i was having a high seat... which meant tat i could capsize easily. So i got back.. later on e way back, halfway, i flipped again and is time i was quite tired and i didnt flip my kayak.. Comical thing was tat wen i looked at my capsized kayak, i was reminded of poisidon.. haha..

I was so tired to flip it over.. and well i tried.. i was in e water well at tat point of time, i didnt really care abt the depth of the water. i was afloat thx to my life vest. I was of course kicking and applying watever swimming skills i had.. Jus tat on my left hand was my vest and on the other i was trying to keep my capsized kayak afloat..

My advisor saw me frm a distance and he rushed to me.. he kinda saw i was really hyperventilated.. And got me to hold on to e back of his kayak. He managed to flip my kayak for me however wen he saw e amt of water inside, he tried to get his frien to help and while waiting, he said "my be hell of an experience for ur first time rite?" and i jus nodded.

Wen his friend reached, they looked at e amt of water and well it was bad lah.. haha.. but i didnt panic.. Thank God tat i was calm.. Both of them tried to get some water out.. Eventually by God's grace, they did..

However there was still some water inside. so i was told to return to empty e water.. E moment i got in, i was paddling like no one's business and my aim was to go to e launch pad.. i finally mad it but wrong pad but who cares i was near safe grounds..

My advisor saw and he knew wat i would do he jus shouted at me to make sure i was sound and not to panic.. so i paddled backwards and wen to where i had to go.. Tis time wen i was there, i didnt care abt taking care of my boat. I paddled rite into e underwater concrete thingy.. and i stopped till i heard e sound of my boat's base rubbing against tat concrete thingy..

The water was dam milky and slippery.. and ew.. orh yea i forgot to add.. while i was in e water e second time, while waiting for rescue, well there were fishes inside the water.. and i felt e fin of a fin brushing against my foot and a small wave under it.. i was freaking but keeping calm..

Lets jus say i pretended that i was a cabin crew evacuating e plane and happen to be in e water.. so by imagining, it kinda help me keep calm.. haha..

After our trainning, we carried all our kayaks and paddles to e shed.. By this time, "Holy Father" was also closing his area.. to go home tat is.. hehe.. We all headed to wash up and all.. I didnt bring a spare underwear but my shorts had an inner linning.. haha

I had tis vib tat i would capsize so wen we reached there, i removed my underwear.. haha so wen we went to wash up, i changed and all.. haha.. Tats for Wednesaday.. was fun.. hehe and well i kinda did drink some unclean water.. haha.. ew man

Thursday was kinda cool.. Well i had my Student Ambassador interview.. and i guess i screwed up.. off record, i already have 2 IGs. Race Kayaking and Integrated Events. 1 sport and 1 non-sport. and i heard some have 5 IGs though in our sch its onli 2 tats officially recognised.. well anyway i was prepared to not be selected..

After the interview, my friends and i headed to watch "Da Vinci Code" i tell u its nice.. and im goin to watch it few more times.. haha..

Friday, i had to attend tis Sports Excellence Award can u imagine, it was called "Glitz" and it was so D&D kinda thing.. haha.. and i had to be in smart casual where i looked like some working guy.. and i hated it.. in e morning wen i was at e MRT station waitin for my friend, e moment he saw me, he went "WAT U DOIN!?!?!" everyone stared at me.. and i really meant every RP student standing there..

I was so embarressed.. and of course was cursing at him all e way to school.. Wen my faci came in, he was in jeans and polo tee.. and i said "cher lets exchange our clothes" and he said "Sherwin ill lend u my pass, jus enter any class tat has no faci and see how long u can smoke the class" and everyone laughed..

Some said i looked like some F&B manager.. But overal the rest said i was ok in it lah.. haha. Soon sch ended and well wen for the event and well its was nice.. and e food was quite good.. had 3 rounds.. haha..

Later headed home..

Sat came..

Sat was quite ok lah.. wen for a talk by tis company and well quite interested.. They were looking for Events Coordinator.. so yea.. came back home and was online the whole day and didnt do much jus napped and wasted e day way.. haha

Sunday came..

Today was quite ok lha... Wen to church in e morning and spoke to Rev Sin's wife and well few others came to speak to me today.. well think its a start so yea..

After service i came home and here i am blogging.. Jus checked my RP Mail and well got the results of my SA Interview.. i got in.. kinda contemplating if i wan to join a not though i was selected to attend the selection camp frm the 200 tat was interviewed..

Hmm well amidst all the good stuff tat u can see here, there are also e dwn side tat i nvr talk abt.. no one would have a life tats all up and no downs.. Food for Thought: How to live a life of simplicity wif the ups tat come my way? Possible it is i know but question is HOW

This is on Thursday after watching "Da Vinci Code" at Causeway point.. Everyone is taking the train home but i have my bat mobile and unlike batman, i don have to have mask watsoever to cover my face and have sharp ears... my hair can replace it.. hehe

Monday

Hmm my monday morning was quite good. I mean i left home like quite early and left for sch quite ok lah and well managed to get a bus.. Sad thing was though i was early, i still had to stand.. next time ill jus wait for a bus whereby i know i can sit..

It wasnt tat bad lah.. along the way, i met my senior.. so quite ok lor.. haha.. wen i reached Woodlands, i still had some time to go to the atm to take money.. haha.. met Xian hao to go to school together.. we have been goin to sch together for sometimes liao so yea..

Wen we arrived class, set up our stuff, lesson started and well later we headed dwn to 7 Eleven to grab food.. i grabbed the fruit tree fresh apple juice wif alie vera.. and well i kept goin to the toilet and worst thing was i got sick.. dam it..

Apparently, since young, if i take apples, ill get sick.. my throat got inflamed and i had migraine.. Aside frm that i had training which i very much wanted to attend and i did.. hehe... We did running and all... traing was quite ok..

We wanted to go to the gym however the dragon boaters were there and well apparently, they were quite selfish they didn wan to share the gym. well we had our alternatives so who cares.. we still trained.. at least we arent monsters.. Their bodies were big.. we have toned body.. and we don shout in the gym like them.. full force.. we steady and cool..

Training was good i have to say.. stretched our muscles and all.. and now its kinda anching or something i dunno but i love the feel.. haha.. After training, i wen to Raffles Medical Group.. and well spent like $31.50 there and some of the seniors and mates where there.. the team was there..

As bad as i felt, i was happy and there was unity.. Quite cool... haha.. After tat, headed home and cleared my stuff, took my medicine and slp straight.. e head was really bad.. so yea.. tis morning woke up and well was quite ok lah minus the inflamation i was having in e throat..

Anyway later goin for a movie at TM.. also get some stuff.. gotta get ready.. toddles for now..

Another Week

Hmm well tis week was quite ok.. However i really enjoyed my Race Kayaking Practice.. and well my other IG (Interest Group aka CCA) is Integrated Events Management.. Thus far im loving everything.. From the IG to sch..

I mean of course e start of the week would be sucky and boring lah but well it would progress by the day thru the week.. its fun lor.. i mean yday we had trainig well more like intro session and well i really enjoy it alot.. and well guess im back into water sport jus tat its kayak and competitive..

Well for startes, will reverse today.. Ok well yday, wen for training in e morning then later we ended and wen to wash up jus to wash legs onli actually then off to Queensway shopping centre wif Keith and lunch..

Later, i headed to TM Perlini's Silver to grab mummy's Mother's Day gift. got her a necklace.. headed back home and out again to mean Ram for dinner and movie and dam i was pissed wif his choice of movie.. "When a stranger calls" was the title.. its like dam stupid..

The exciting part onli set in towards the end.. and dam its dam boring.. I mean the onli scary thing was tat e call frm in e house.. As in with all the high tech stuff, the killer still got in and e girl panicked and well the call later came and the police later called to say they traced the call and that it was within the house..

Therefore having a big house isnt tat good either.. haha.. but i mean i wasted like $9.50 on a stupid show.. i wanted to watch Poseidon.. but well.. haiz.. later wen home and tis morning wen to church has holy communion and home and nap.. hahaha..

Now the week was ok lah jus tat of course in class there are some whom i cant work with.. kinda got my nerves.. so yea.. trying to work wif them lah but i mean have struggles.. haiz sometimes i do get depressed..

I can still remember e first week.. As happy and excited as i was, the stress and agony i had and not sharing it wif anyone, really brought me to tears and well had to go to somewhere quite to be shut frm all this..

Thank goodness it onli happened once.. if it were to happen again, i dunno how.. gladd some of my bitching partner are there i mean can call them wen i need them.. thank God for them and for him too.. well think i better end here.. getting late already...

My life thus far

Republic Poly:My new sch..

EK's B773.. My fav plane e model well maybe the island..

The Jawi word means: Emiria for Emirates and United Arab Emirates means Emiria Arab Bersatu..

My answer for my Problem Trigger for e day.. looks like me rite

Smile in Prison; RP Prison

My EZ Card ID Pic

May Day

Wow.. We are now in the Month of May.. Just within a short time frame of 5months, lots have happened.. Firstly we were rushing to complete our projects and later had exams and practicaly stuff and then we had to apply for our poly's and everyone was backstabbing one another and well the true colours of every individual in e class came out.

The one whom u least expect to backstab u was the first to backstab u.. tats a fact. Sonia was my marketing partner and well we were supose to work on our project together but well it turn out to be a one side affair.. Which i kinda got pissed and felt tat she worked wif me jus to get her grades..

Guess i cant blame her.. its a throat cut throat world out there.. Anyway Results were out and on saturday i got a mail frm ITE.. well i got like a 3.455 for my GPA and well im quite happy lah.. But i mean main happiness is tat im in RP...

Sometime back Sonia called me.. Conversation was abt her tryin to appeal into RP.. Later, the mum sorta said tat i must try to help her in.. And she mentioned e word pulling strings as in i pulled strings to get in.. Was quite offended.. I mean wow.. interesting theory.. Well anyway those were all bygones..

Hmm well today is like a ppublic holiday and i kinda spend the last few days er well.. like tat lah.. Sat was kinda wasted.. Sunday which was yday, was nice.. wen to cut my hair and got my stuff.. tomorrow i needa go get my cable and then i can fix my new modem liao..

Kinda like bored.. Kinda sad too.. lotsa stuff happened and is happening.. I also dunno how to handle it.. Dint even go to church yday feel sad but well i duno lah so sian so many things are goin thru my mind.. i mean its like pple are in relationships and im not.. like u see now...

i also duno wat the purpose of my blogin now.. wat? to talk rubbish? My as well jus a canverse and jus throw pain at it and call it art.. argh.. i jus wan something to vent my anger at and on. and jus wan to drop, cry and jus give up... haiz watever lah.. fuck it