The Facade i use to cover my dark side: Capsulised

Day: Sunday

Date: 4/6/06
Weather: Night time but no rain.. heheh
Mood: Depress as a whole but contented
Holiday: Commenced till 18/6/06

Firstly, before i begin to blog abt my week, would like to share some thoughts i gathered during my reflection i kinda did on one of the days while i was on the way to school. Few weeks back, was talking to a friend..

He kinda noticed that i was kinda tensed well few others noticed that i kinda changed since i entered poly. One of the comments i heard, was that i kept falling sick... Well to some extend it was real.

Many a times, members of the public stigmatise ITE students as a whole and judge them even before they know them.. Though its less common this days, but then as much as im concern, im happy and am extremely proud to be an ITE student and to be, being able to enter the local poly from ITE, is indeed and achievement and a stepping stone.

Few ITE students who enter the poly say that its different the life in Poly and in ITE. For me differences in terms of studying methodologies. im quite adaptive to the style of teaching however, as much i couldn’t be bothered with the fact that the public stigmatise ITE students, im happy with the fact that wen we enter poly, to some extend, we are smarter than them.

Smarter in what sense one might ask. When i first entered poly, i was accommodating to everyone who was in my group. I would ask them to share their thoughts but while we are goin thru our problem statement, sometimes they might as me words they don understand and i have to always lead the group.

In ITE, we were given the hands on skills which i truly benefited and being in the council was an added asset because in the council u face many others who are of different character and personality and u learn how to handle them differently and that’s wat i did in my class...

However, being the leader all the time and helping ur other members all the time, is mental and physically draining.. Few of my classmates passed this comment few days back.. "Sherwin has a mixed face and therefore he gets what he wants all the time". To some extend i guess it hurts i mean what has me getting what i wan got to do with my race? I mean though im not pure Chinese but in my IC its still CHINESE!!!

What makes them less from me? Occasionally, i would be put dwn by such remarks and well subsequently, i got sick and all bcos i didnt really have any friends there well i do lah but not anyone frm ITE for me to share my burdens with.

Licia, Liwei, Yixian along with few others who made it to poly, we do keep in touch with one another but as it is we are all busy with our daily life especially since we are in poly. This is also the very reason to y some of my ITE friends comment "Wah someone now in poly all his ITE friends he throw aside."

If you guys think that then i have nothing to say. If you really call urself my friend, where were u wen i needed u? Where were ur smses saying a simple "Hi" or "Hello"? So don bloody hell come question me abt my loyalty in friendship. I always did that jus that now my mind is preoccupied with my poly life and all..

Yes i shld make time but im human and aint perfect im not a model someone but i try so pls understand me.

Anyway now to my week...Kinda long.. :)

Monday:
School was good... Well not so lah.. quite depressing.. it was onli good during my training.. Instead of running, we played Captain's ball.. so yea.. later we did our usual routine and off we went for dinner.. I didnt go for dinner lah.. Wen home to have dinner with mummy.. to some extend i felt that since i started poly and had my IG, i've been at home lesser then usual. So think i have to make time for mummy.. Cos she commented some time back "Wah u get ur laptop already i hardly see u" i got her hint.. and thats also y i do my work outside so she can see me and talk to me since my lappy can go wireless..

Tuesday:
Was Enterprise.. It was good.. Asked my teacher y we were so into interpersonal and stuff and well i kinda guessed it lah but jus wanted to clear my doubt. Reason was when you start a business or even if u already have a business, what kind of people do u wan to have? Of course everyone have to employ pple they can work with so on and so forth..

It was quite ok lah. Headed to meet mummy for dinner at TM after school so i left sch late so that wen i reach it would be jus nice.. so i stayed in school to play Swat 4.. Orh yes recently i started picking up playing LAN games like SWAT 4 and CS.. But i prefer Swat 4... its stress relieving.. hehe..

Wednesday:
Was Science.. We were learning abt Dissipation and well Physics was involved like Velocity, and so one.. along with few other formulas.. haha.. My science group was soso. kinda changed my group to help a friend but well we kinda got into a quarrel and well yea.. to some extend now i regret and think if term 2 starts, and there is not change of group. i might request for a change.

Later headed for training and well as usual the girl's and 2 guys did 4-6km and well my group had to do 30pull ups.. 6sets of 5 and 15 pushups and our abs exercise.. hehe.. By the time our group wen into the water, it was 1830. Near dark le..

I think im glad that i was in a T2 (2 seater) so my friend and i was there.. We did 2km well along with the rest of the other guys in my group. Cause my advisor's friend shouted to his NUS students "NUS 7pm out of water" later he paddled to where e rest of us were and he shouted "RP 7pm out of water!" and of course i followed the instruction.

Wen my advisor saw me out of the water with my friend, he shouted to me to ask y. So of course i said "Shawn (his friend who shouted at us to get out by 1900) said to get out of e water" he checked with his friend who was at the launching point and well later apparently my advisor was not updated with the new rule.

Mac Ritchie has this rule tat after 1900, no water activities if caught then the whole school would be barred from the reservoir. And its for life. So my advisor approved my friend and i leaving the water.

His friend watched the NUS students and us while my advisor wen back to gather all e students out of the water. Later we cleared out stuff like keeping the kayaks into the shed and did a debrief and washed up. i was quite hungry so i left first to mee a friend...

After training, i headed for Ba Chor Mee with my friend and well later headed home.. Was dam tired and i slp in e bus and missed my stop.. Quite pissed and good thing my friend called so i was complaining and well wailed to him.. haha..

Wen i got home, i was so dam exhausted and mummy ask me to go clean Russell's poop and it was in the sitting room.. Was quite pissed.. i locked him in e kitchen after whacking him with my hand tat is.. and he did attack me and well i quite it was bcos of anger and exhaustion that made me really know how to stop him from doin tat..

I did wat i have to along with packing my stuff for sch e next day.. later i shut myself in e room and well i ended my day..

Thursday:
Maths.. As usual for e past 3 weeks, we were doin VB.. I was actually quite tired and well prepared to not go to school.. However i realised that i had a Science UT (Understanding Test) so i had no choice but to attend school. So yea i wen to sch and then later i had some problems with my UT Client (Programme for us to do our UT).

So had no choice but to do on paper. Later after tat, we were given our Problem Statement for the day.. i was dead set to leaving class early.. Rushed thru my stuff and well i left sch at 1330.. Headed home showered and rest.. Took my nap..

Later wen i woke up, had dinner with mummy... Didn’t really eat much cos i didn’t have much of an appetite.. Ended the day by sleeping early..

Friday:
Thank God Its Friday=TGIF!!!!
Cognitive Processes and Problem Solving.. Was abt reliability and credibility of information.. it was quite easy but bcos everyone was in the holiday mood, it was a bit hard.. For me i was near shut off mood.. the nearer the time came towards 1600, the more i was restless and wanted to shut down.. In order to do that, i of course rushed thru everything.. My group, we appointed a leader and a scribe but then the 2 weren’t doing anything.. The other 3 of us were working.. so yea.. as usual lah..

Guess as stressed as i am, i have to thank God i have some good ones with me.. Can help to share the burden.. After school, i stayed a while to do my RJ later after doin it, i left sch to meet a friend.. Wen to Ikea for beef balls.. Dam nice.. Miss eating it. hehe.. But well i enjoyed myself..

While i was eating my beef balls, i suddenly thought of Grace.. She was leaving for Frankfurt doing FRA-EWR.. Miss her so much.. been a year since we met.. and well yea.. haiz :'( miss u dearie..
By the time i thought of her, it was quite late le.. she was well abt 4hrs thru her flights to FRA..

After my beef balls, i headed to Wheel lock’s Crumpler boutique to see the bags.. strolled along orchard to look at a big to put my laptop and my training gear. Saw a few nice ones.. but kinda spoilt for choices and well contemplating..

Later i recalled i wanted to buy a toy.. it was tis well thing where u can keep it into a box and wat made me wan to buy this toy was that it was airport series.. hehe.. and was nice.. they had 2 sets.. the first one was $40 and obviously i didn’t wan to get tat one and i wanted the one that was $30.. which i saw it as $20.. tat one had no plane but who cares i have lots of planes at home hehe..

Chris smsed me saying he emailed me some SQ mp3 that he took from the videos.. Quite happy to hear tat.. haha. Walked from Taka to Paragon to look for that toy.. Its either its out of stock or don have at all.. So eventually gave up looking cos it was like arnd 8 plous near 9..

Headed home on 65.. It wasn’t like my magic school bus (Service 168) that gets me from point A to B within 30mins.. it was like an hour long ride home.. So i ended up slping. Alighted at Clear Waters to take 28 home..

Wen i reached home, showered and all and started uploading the mp3 tones from Chris to my lappy and then selected 3 to put into my phone.. Later ended my day..

Sat:
Race Kayak training day.. Yippy.. hehe.. Woke up at 6 and well after showering, i wore my FBT stuff and trunk and later napped.. Mummy woke me up at 7 and i left.. hehe.. Reached the training station and slp in e train till City hall and slp thru again..

At Toa Payoh, met an Ex SC member. chatted and well i alighted at Bishan.. Took 156 and reach Mac Ritchie.. Later after tat, again did PT (Physical Training first) and then later did 4km.. Training was quite ok lah.

Coach said to do 2km wen he saw us.. Later he wen to paddle with his friend and then wen he saw me, he shouted to me to do another 2km.. After which he left.. While doin my 4km, at the 4th lap, my leg was quite numb and i was pushing myself and well sweat and all and i had a low seat kayak so my capsize rate was low.. hehe.. quite happy..

Conclusion was tat i cant do High seat and i must do low seat or else. Capsize. hehe soon i was very near the launching point.. e rest were arnd there together but the pain was well too great tat i couldn’t take it and well mind over matter and tats how i pushed myself to the end.. hehe quite an achievement..

Paddled myself to the launching point and got out.. Wen i got out, my leg was wobbly and well couldn’t feel a thing.. Though i was standing, but not straight.. legs were weak and well and sat at the launching point for a while and my legs were in my kayak to prevent it frm drifting away cos no way am i gettin into e water after being dry.. hehe..

We kept the kayaks and well my senior asked me to keep the race kayak.. and i was carrying it with my friend.. and i said "Wah so light arr".. Later both of them said "Its goin to be YOUR race kayak soon"

Note the emphasis on "Your" well i dunno but a senior was saying tat my captain and other vice capt was quite please with me.. I think i was quite quiet.. As in in the team im one of the silent ones..
Anyway, later after tat, we had our debrief and then had debrief.. did 50 pushups for being 1mins late.. so rubbish.. but well ill bulk up so yea.. hehe

Left after washing my legs to go to sentosa.. headed to Habour front for lunch where i got a call from Melissa saying her mum passed away.. It was sad to hear that her mum passed away.. I didn’t really know if she was the onli child a not.. so yea..

Couldn’t do much at tat time as well but could tell she was sad.. I had my dinner and after tat, i headed to sentosa with my friend tat is.. there was a big long queue.. And eventually, we got in.. hmm apparently there was some Balloon Festival goin on.. so yea.. But gd thing the beach tat i was heading to was quite empty..

Quite good.. hehe nice.. Loved it.. rented a kayak to paddle a bit more and then i was sitting on e beach till i dozed off.. My friends were quite mean.. haha they took sand and threw on my body while i was slping on e beach plus it was near e water.. hehe.. wen i woke up goodness. the mark or mess was erm.. How should i put it.. Interesting??

We showered and all abt 6.. headed to the bus station to get the bus but the queue was so long and well we decided to walk out.. I was leading and well.. hehe. Managed to get out.. in say wat 30mins?? Yea..

Headed to the departure centre and waited for the bus to come.. Had to wait for the 3rd bus before we can get a seat.. Later took a train to Douby Ghaut. one of my Friend saw his friend's and well his friend apparently was talking to his friend.. And he said "Later we go to the Orchard" and after hearing the conversation, i burst out laughing..

Couldnt take it.. well im bad for laughing at people but yea.. hehe. We transferred train to City hall and headed to Pizza hut for dinner.. I managed to get the $20 to buy the toy.. saw it at Toys' R' Us and well wen i saw the toy, it was $30 and not $20.. so sad.. :(

Wen back to Pizza Hut and well mins after i arrived, food came.. After dinner, headed to Gv Marina to catch X-Men 3.. Was told tat i would be disappointed but after watching it, i think there is a light at e end of the cave.. Think tats a better way of putting it..

Later after the show, headed home.. Kor wanted to go out for supper to make up for pissin the hell out of me.. And well as usual, though he drove but he was dam late.. 0040 then arrive.. Later he apologised which i didnt accept so yea.. anyway chatted while we fetched his friend..

After fetching his friend, i was well nappin in e car.. We headed to Geylang for supper and well i placed e order.. his friend was accommodating.. they let me order so i ordered all my fav stuf.. there was bao, ha kao, hakka beancurd (kor's fav), dumpling, pork siew Mai (Kor's fav), chee chong fun, and i think tat was it.. and i had cold barley..

Quite filling and funny thing was they were amazed that i ate alot.. and well i was shocked too.. hehe.. Later we headed to Changi.. Apparently, they wanted to go see ah gua's haha.. and we took the PIE..

Along the way, kor didnt turn out so well guided him frm the Changi Airport route to the ECP and later go to Changi Village area.. We drove pass my fav spot.. the runway area but too bad no cam so cant take shots.. haiz.. sad sad but well view was nice..

Soon we arrived.. i wen to the toilet while they chatted in e car (kor and his friend).. Wen i got out, we left and well few ah gua's signaled his friend and him.. hehe i was flabbergasted.. ahahah..

Kor later send me home got home and ended my day..

Sunday:
Wen to church.. was quite tired since i got back at abt 2 plus or was it 3?? hmm, either or lah.. haha.. AFter church, met Aini to go for Melissa's mum's funeral.. Im glad she appeared strong.. She is a gd friend and junior.. And as best as i can, will be there for her cos its not easy without a mum and having to be e onli child..

Will pray for her.. :) After tat i headed home and ate my burger and napped...

Woke up had dinner and here i am blogging.. Think by far this is my longest blog.. hehe.. Well think ill end here.. Tomorrow (Monday) is HOLIDAY!!! yippy!!! play time.. haha first holiday as a poly boi.. hehe..

Toddles for now..

PS: Pics i took for the day..